The Pillow Prank
by Firebloom
Summary: Oneshot. Larxene hatches a little plotted prank to get back at her Superior. And she's taking Marluxia along for the ride.


**A/N: If you've read Disnyland Foray so far-- which I seriously need to get around to updating-- then you'll have read the part where Xemnas screams Axel's name, and Marluxia tells Larxene that it sounds like the same noise Xemnas made when Larxene stuffed a pillow under her coat and showed herself to the stone-faced Superior. This, for fun, explains exactly what Marluxia was reminiscing about.**

* * *

Marluxia grinned in a way that suggested he was about to ruffle someone's hair the wrong way. He nodded at Larxene, whose eyes glittered with mischief. "Got the pillow?" he asked quietly. 

"There's pillows everywhere, Marluxia," Larxene reasoned, as if he were a two-year old being told how to tie his shoes. "Besides," the Savage Nymph continued, "we can just use these ones on your bed."

"But they're mine," Marluxia argued weakly.

"And they're about to be used in a prank that'll make Superior's hair grow white."

"But isn't it already--"

"No," Larxene cut him off. "Xemnas's hair is _silver_, remember? Not platinum blond, not white, not grey, not dirty-shiny grey, but _silver." _Grudgingly, she added, "You remember when Demyx confused Xemnas's hair color for grey?"

Marluxia shuddered in amusement; there was a reason Demyx now cowered in front of Xemnas the most. He opened his eyes to see Larxene picking a random pillow and fluffing it out at just the right size. "You sure we won't get in too much trouble now?" he prodded. "This _was_ your idea, after all."

Larxene gave him a hard stare. "It was my idea because Xemnas gave me a quota on how many times I can severely hurt somebody."

"A quota?" Marluxia repeated, confused. "You mean you can only hurt people a certain number of times?"

"Very good, Marly!" Larxene spat condescendingly. "And I already reached it. He gave it to me last week!" She turned gracefully in a way that foreshadowed a rant. "Did he really think I wouldn't traumatize the others ten times in a month?!" She flicked her hand in the air in an irritated fashion.

"So this is so you can get back at Superior," Marluxia concluded steadily.

"Exactly!" Larxene huffed, clutching the pillow. "He'll be so freaked, he won't want to see that sight again! So he'll _have_ to comply with me!" Larxene grinned then, already envisioning the Superior's normally collected face fall to pieces at her future act. "Now let's go; there's nothing to wait for now."

* * *

Larxene poked her head out from around the hallway, checking to see if anyone was coming toward them from any direction. When the corridors were silent and uninhabited, she quietly made her way along the path, Marluxia behind her. "You think the Superior's in his office?" she whispered over her shoulder. 

The pink-haired man sighed. "Larx," he said, "if he isn't, we'll turn around and try again. Nobody will--" Larxene gave him a look. "--er, _no one_ will suspect anything, anyway."

The Savage Nymph shrugged and continued on her way to the said office. When they reached the double doors to the chamber, she grinned like a jackal, tucking the pillow under her coat at her stomach.

"Sheesh!" Marluxia breathed playfully. "If I wasn't in on this whole thing, I'd say you really were--"

"Shh!" Larxene suddenly held a finger to her lips. "I think he's inside." She managed to hold back her insane grin as she took a deep breath to compose herself. "Okay, Mar," she began, "you come in first. You have to tell Sexman that I have something big to tell him. I'll come in when you call me, got it?"

"Got it," Marluxia agreed, snickering quietly before straightening his back. He knocked on the massive doors until he heard a deep call on the other side that granted his entrance. When the Graceful Assassin stepped through, no one could have suspected that he was about to help pull off a grand make-your-hair-grow-white prank.

"Ah, Number Eleven," Xemnas said, seated behind a white desk. "What brings you here? I haven't summoned you for anything, if I recall correctly..."

"Well," Marluxia began, scratching the back of his head in a nervous fashion, "you're right: you haven't. But I think there's a, um... a little something you should know about..."

Xemnas raised a silver eyebrow. "Oh?" His tone indicated mild interest for once.

"Yeah, um...," Marluxia looked at the Superior, his blue eyes pulling off the anxious look excellently. "It's about Larxene..."

The interest in Xemnas's eyes snuffed out at the mention of the Savage Nymph's name. Now they were replaced with dull exasperation. "Who'd she injure _now_?" he asked, indeed sounding exasperated. "She's not supposed to hurt any more members for the rest of the month." He sighed heavily; she could be such a handful...

"Oh, no, Superior," Marluxia answered quietly. "It's not that. It's something a little bigger..."

"What?" Xemnas asked cautiously.

"Well, um... See for yourself..." Marluxia turned around and called, "Larxene!"

Before entering, Larxene had to cover her mouth, so her laughter wouldn't be overheard. Now completely collected, she slunk in a nervous and frightened fashion into the office. "I, uh...," Larxene pretended clearing her throat. She straightened herself, and she waited for her Superior to react.

Xemnas couldn't speak; his orange eyes were round as saucers, though. Soon, his jaw dropped open, but still no words came forth. He sat there, frozen, as he took in the noticeable bulge on Larxene's stomach. Marluxia could've sworn he saw a few locks of the Superior's hair turn white then and there.

Marluxia and Larxene were trying so, so hard not to crack up and let their laughter spill out. If only everybody could actually see this...

Finally, Xemnas managed to utter some incoherent noise from his throat. Gradually, human speech came back to him, and he suddenly rose and shouted at the top of his lungs:

**_"AXEEEEEEEEEEEL!"_**

Larxene and Marluxia fell to the floor laughing as the castle practically shook. The partners continued their hysterical fit until Larxene finally registered what Xemnas had said. She was pounding the floor when Marluxia heard her stop and screech "Wait-- HEY!"

* * *

Axel skidded to a frantic stop as he slid through the office doors. "What?" he called, afraid that he committed some dastardly crime. 

Before Xemnas could fire the accusation, Larxene threw the pillow at her Superior's face. "It was a joke!" she howled triumphantly. "And it was an oh, so good one!" She was giggling quietly to herself, her body shaking with the euphoric noise, as Xemnas took the pillow off his face.

Once more he was dumbstruck. He stood there, holding the infernal pillow, his eyes withholding any reaction to this latest development. Then, "DAMMIT, LARXENE! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

Larxene puffed her chest out proudly. "I won't do this any more if you agree to something!" she declared.

"And if you don't," Marluxia put in, eyebrows raised in a sinister manner, "then she just MIGHT get you-know-what for _real_!"

Xemnas, of course, didn't want any of that happening under HIS castle roof. "Yes, yes, yes," he agreed frantically. "Name your terms, and I'll see what I can do!" He waved his hand to the two males. "Everyone else, go away!"

Marluxia swept away with a pleased grin on his face. Axel just left, confused because he was summoned, then left to practically stand in the corner unnoticed.

* * *

"What'd he say, what'd he say?" Marluxia asked eagerly as Larxene walked into his room. 

She threw herself onto his bed, holding a pillow. "That stupid _quota_ was revoked," she purred, satisfied. "I get to go back to how it was before. On two conditions."

"Oh?" Marluxia raised a pink eyebrow.

"I can't actually kill any members," she started off.

"Well, yeah," Marluxia agreed. "And what's the other one?"

Larxene laughed, the sound tinkling like tiny bells. "I can't get knocked up."

Because Xemnas is too old to have things like THAT brought to him.


End file.
